About Me~AdrianCCSenG

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Pandan Indah, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
Clinging on the belief of being persistence proves its worthiness. Age: 19 UTAR -Bachelor of Engineering in Mechanical Engineering (Y1)

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Monday, October 24, 2011

life's complicated

well I'm not gonna update neither for the Melaka trip nor the iceskating day 1st..
I will just update recent things about me...

Either in life or dota. . .
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Life:
"Be proactive not reactive"
That day I read a book in Popular bookshop at Sunway there after having dinner with buddies, I not really remember the title but it something like this...<7 Habits of Teenager should have> ?
but well idk...just 7 habits...

eventhough I didn't finish read the book, I just read it like less than an hour...
but I learnt a lot from that...
for me, most notable would be that "be proactive not reactive"

What's that?
-You will never escape from criticizing, comparison, harassing, bashing or just some sort of that that gotta makes you upset, rage bla bla...
How will you react?
Be reactive- He flames me first, I gotta flame the fuck out of him back!
Be proactive- He flames you doesn't mean you should do what's naturally you need to react----flame him back. No, as you know that won't help but just causing endless chaotic. Maybe you could had do something more productive at the mean time?
I mean don't let such stupid criticizes affect you easily, do what you have to, but not something stupid..
Quarrel is not gonna help
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DotA:
It so does in DotA
"oh you noob, look at your items bla bla bla"
*Yes! I'm a tiny! time for revenge & tosses that flamer to the horde of your enemy team*

great, you just feeding enemy team more

instead you should had been realizing...
Oh maybe he's right, I should had bla bla bla...
even he's wrong, just ignore him or tell him kindly & explains not doing some betrayal moves, that just dumb
=========================================
We were close
We are worse than acquaintances

I think you were once my very very close friend to me
You were quite nice and you were really different...

I don't know where I got the nerve & started trying to get you
but things doesn't seems ended well
even until now...
yes, I'm stupid, that was a dumb move

I had even pm-ed you whether can we still be just friends,
and you never replied,
as things seems so awkward, I decided to remove you from buddy then...

recently, I think I should had retrieved back this friendship, at least, it shouldn't had been worse than acquaintances...

that day, it really proved everything that is really had gone worse than acquaintances
You were helpless, I was thought of giving a hand, but well, since you were totally ignoring me, then I just get my ass off..

What can I react when there's her, somebody that worse than acquaintances talking with all your close, good friends...
I chose just to shut the fuck myself then
I really had nothing to say when she's around, idk, not saying that I hate her or wut...

I looked at you, I waved at you, I greeted "bye bye"
but you just changed your gaze to somewhere else, totally ignoring me...

conclusion:
in the net, without seeing face to face, you ignored
in real, face to face, you ignored either
nothing I can do then...

I think it's really pointless to retrieve it back, so well, move on...
anyway, I'd learnt a lot of my mistakes from her...
but oh well, can't change the facts anymore...
Worse than acquaintances
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Today I saw all the quarrels going around in the DotA group,
Leon removed the post afterwards

I know what mistakes I'd done, I'm not a real good player, I'm over aggressive
But if you really wanted to join, you just tell, I would give you my slot if you really were a better one since you would surely have more experience with Leon & they all, but there's no point of playing hints & offensing each other

I'm not trying to defend myself or what, I'm just saying if you really a better one, why the hell he picked me instead of you?
considering he's your schoolmate & definitely could work it out much better in terms of coordination, right?

Every day, I spent hours on watching replay, analyse each pick/ban choices, researching on the mechanism...
because I wanna try to help Leon out on drafting those shits in case he left out something & end up doing a wrong decision

Still, I'm practicing for what I can to give my team more advantage
I practicing jungling so that I could give my team more solo lane & level advantages
I practicing supports because you guys had better skills & patience in farming, last hitting
I not getting a single fucking creep score because I know who need it more than me, so you think I really meant to feed?
I mean feeding? what the hell? I threw everything that I got & I think that what a support, caster should do, doesn't it ?
Are you gonna rice farming VS in the jungle for a mekansm? really?
Idk wth you criticizing me, man

I think if you really concern about how much this team meant to you, then you should had giving advices, teaching me
not giving the team more trouble
you knew how much the time you wasted for the quarrels? that would almost cost for a game & short discussions

I respect you, I never knew you were holding a grudge on me or something


Anyway, my tournament will be on 5th & 6th November...
@ SMKSBS
its pretty soon but training will still be an issue to us
it's hardly to gather all 5 of us playing together

even just few of us playing together will not much helping
most of the time, the game will be screwed up by some other stranger pub players
I thought of training with AI, but that's work on training last hit which I don't need, I'm supporter -_-"

Oh well, I think I should stop typing my dota shits now before it getting rid of you all
lols
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Enjoy the holidays
Don't care about the PMR Result, don't need to bother about checking the marks now
Just wait for the result slip instead & now have fun :3

feel good after releasing all my shit feelings out -_-

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