Tingling stings

Coincidences do occur occasionally, especially when you most expected it
Again, I have to tolerate the torment and act numb. Getting the best possible position to halt any possible visualization.
Definitely, there is a noticeable difference compare to the past.
Yes, I'm still reminiscing; how could I have just strolled over and sat down cracking some cliche jest...
Back in reality, my instincts knew better that I should just stay away as being acquainted, not even landing a quick glance nor even leaking depression within my expressions as I walked pass.
I need not the superficial smile you can put on with your least efforts to show your courtesy but the friendly yet rude tease that I was familiar of.
Neither I was misunderstanding nor loathing but just execrating of my lack of courage
I never knew how quickly it could deescalate

It is my nature to appear in emotionless, neutral...
Hardly, there will be any people that notice my sentimental and emotive elements.
How often have these ignorance been frequenting me? I doubted.
Was it being calm that bring me these treats : "It's okay, he will be fine", "Nah, he will not be mad"...
Indeed, I will be fine but I never have been fine with any offering of cold shoulders
I'm hardly worth of one's agitation.
It tingles my inner yet I have to portray pretense because I'm not good at these Q&A sessions—I learnt the hard way as expressing truthfully never had brought me good outcomes; somehow it have became my instincts
Perhaps, surging my ire will grant me some needed attentions—sometimes I do desperate of some pity, for the least. However, I do learn about distaste on the people that were being agitated so much.
These desperation provokes my sorrow to a greater extent.


No one was to be blamed, but myself.
I have to summon courage and cease the fear!
"Getting failures with attempts are better than getting failures with self-declared defeats." I always bear that in mind, but...where is my bravery?
Sigh.