Unfair

I changed a lot.
I tend to control my temper and tolerate more wisely.
Nevertheless, it's burdening to put on a facade of happiness when I am to be blamed, to be left out, to be treated unfairly...
It's never really me to fool around like a clown. Occasionally, I need time alone to relieve myself.
Yes, I was asked about the whys and hows. I was asked to express.
But, no, I can't.
Even if I would express, tides would turn. Eventually, it's my fault again and I would be shunned.
Indeed, it's your choice to opt to be kind with who, to be intimate with who...
No, no, no. You never would understand jealousy do occur between friends.
Is it so hard to be impartial?
The typical loser quotes: Good guys finish last / You do not have the 'look'

I tend to notice small details a lot
What's good: I appreciate little, small things
What's bad: I tend to notice small differences and it would upset me

Oh, in fact, these aren't small details
Countless occurrences were being unfair to me
When I was being quiet, nobody bothered, instead I was to be blamed for not talking with him, and not vice versa.
They would take initiatives to care about him, talk to him, but I was just beside being left out. Desperate? Be in my shoes before  you speak.
He claimed to become talkative and I was to be blamed.
Walking in a bunch, ever noticed I was being left behind? No.
tapping, snapping, whispering... Yes, I'm excluded. 
I wished I would have just walked away which would just make matters worse.
Yes, you did ask. So, was I supposed to answer that I was behind and ignored to cause everybody feeling guilty and trying to be nice to me after that?
NO, I do not want that to occur. It would be pointless anyway if only so would grant me concerns.
Tolerate. That's what I always do.
Sigh.
Fine. It's fine though, all I ever wanted is just some sign of appreciation.
Well, of course, we do goods not because we want something in return though. But sometimes, I just felt being toyed.

Countless times I pleaded that I never had climbed up to this class. It's better just to be alone.
Well, high school life ended anyways. Just sweep away the pain and bring along the remaining of what's good to reminisce of.

I recalled that someone had mentioned that I'm more sociable now but I never know how to express up for myself
True, I always care others more than myself.
Expressing is what you all asked me to do. In reality, what I express is what you would distaste since you never believe jealousy do occur between friendships. Oh well, you never do, everyone treats you well.

Argh. The tension level just keeps arising.
I need sports

Disclaimer: I never distaste anyone. For god's sake, it's just pure expressing. It's all up to you if you would think I am desperate when you never even take a step in my shoes.